Too Much Information

For those who are squimish, stop reading here. No seriously, you've been warned.

Being a mom means learning about poo. From Day 1, you're responsible for someone else's bowel movements. You learn about the cute little odorless poop that newborns have. You know the tarry stuff that you can't get off even with a Magic Eraser? To the stinky poo that comes with feeding your kids solids. Poo is just a way of life for a new mom. Then comes changing diapers. With cloth, you learn about inserts, sprayers, pre-treatments, sun cleaning (which is a crock of lies, I tell ya!), and endless amounts of laundry. With disposables, you learn about the way to wipe, fold properly, how many bags you need to carry, blow outs, which diapers rim the cheeks better, etc.

Then potty training. You're relieved because you think I'LL NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE ANOTHER DIAPER AGAIN. But, there's still the small potties, the butt wiping, and the techniques. It becomes more complicated and more involved than I think it really needs to be.

You learn more about poo than you really ever wanted. Potty training is the rite of passage every parent needs to go through, to truly know your kid is evolving.

Kids get curious and stick their fingers in poo, and finger paint the walls (Magic Eraser does get rid of it on the walls, for what it's worth). Kids get curious and watch themselves poop. They happy proclaim I have to poo, I smell like poo, you smell like poo, I don't like poo, my poo looked like a donut, etc. to every stranger they meet.

Kids are just as fascinated by poo, as they are with everything else in the world.

Thing 1 is a big time fruit eater. He's small, but has some of the most powerful poops. When I dump the potty, I am actually amazed that such a magnificent structure can come from such a tiny body.

Thing 2 isn't as passionate in fiber as her brother. Her poops usually range on the smaller, delicate spectrum. You can definitely tell which is which. She likes to point out shapes in her poo and is most proud when she can achieve the letter "r".

My kids are synchronized poopers. Always have been. I have invested in two potties for that reason. They go together, sometimes holding hands singing songs. About poo.

I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about poo. Sometimes I think you learn too much.