Duplicity

As a mom, I knew I'd have to repeat myself, but not all at once. Suddenly, though, I find myself stuck in a vocal loop with my (almost) 3 year old.

ABC: Look mom, a train!
Me: Is that a train?
ABC: Yeah, a train, a train!
Me: Oh wow! What a train!
ABC: Mommy, look a train!
Me: Is that a train?

(you get the point) This goes on for quite a while until I can either 1.) distract him with food snacks or 2.) another train passes by (which starts up a whole new conversation about you guessed it...TRAINS!)

This mode of conversation has spilled into my adult life, too...

Me: What do you want for dinner?
B: I don't care, what do you want?
Me: I'm asking you what YOU want because I don't care.
B: I don't care, whatever you want is fine...

(this continues until I can distract Brent with food snacks, or until ABC points out trains.)

An interesting conversation...

ABC: Mom, where we going?
Me: To go see grandma.
ABC: No, I want to go to grocery store.
Me: we will after we pick up grandma.
ABC: why we pick up grandma?
Me: Because she doesn't want to drive. She's not feeling well.
ABC: Hmm...grandma have a clean butt?
Me: (laughing) I hope so.

***Don't ask, I have NO idea, LOL

Happy St. Patrick's Day, right?

OK, let me just start by saying I love St. Patrick's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays. I have fond memories of when I was growing up with my family, watching Darby O'Gill and the Little People, eating corned beef & cabbage, and drinking the green milk.

Really, it was a fun FUN holiday.

Flash forward to today.

You want to know what's NOT fun about the holiday? Green Poop!

Apparently, the kids ate something green. Alexander informs me that he pooped. Holy blow out, batman! I scrub and I scrub, I notice that the green poop stained his legs and won't come off. Kirkland Brand wipes ain't got nothin' on a St. Patty's fanny!

I've earned my Guinness!

Things I never knew before I was a mom (part 1)

A hamburger can be bloken (broken). It's true. Alexander told me he couldn't eat his hamburger because it was bloken and I had to fix it.

So I assembled the buns, meat, pickles, etc. back in order.

He takes a bite. Shakes his head.

Maaaamaaa It's BLOK-EN!

I arrange the burger again.

(((repeat until burger is gone, or I wind up finishing the broken burger to prove it wasn't, in fact, bloken after all)))

Gotta love kids!

Fasten your seatbelts...

It's going to be a bumpy ride! Eleanor is, well, let me just say "spirited". She's only 1, but she causes havoc where ever she goes. She will NOT be ignored.

We've been trying to "sleep train" her for the last 6 nights. I love how the "experts" roll it out that if you follow their plan and do exactly what they say, within 7 days, you'll have a child who is complacent and sleeping through the night.

And then there's Eleanor...

Last night was worse than the first night. I've read, re-read, and can totally memorize the sleep training manuals. Heck, I could give a seminar on the subject. That is, if I could actually function. Because in order to talk a comprehensive sentence, that would require brain-mouth connectivity. And, right now that doesn't happen without loads of caffeine. I digress...

The old adage: Youth is wasted on the young has never been truer until I met this child. How can someone so tiny run on so little sleep?

If you had told me years ago that I would actually be longing for sleep, I'd have scoffed. Sleep was overrated! Now, I'm so desperate I'm ready to go to KFC and make a sacrifice to the sleep deities.