A little commentary on snow...

It's cold.

The end

Quote of the day

I can do anything, I'm a mom!

So true.

Privacy Issues

Another thing they don't tell you when you become a mom...you have no privacy. Truly, all of that goes straight out the window.

I should have known better, afterall, I was a dog owner prior to having kids. And, my dogs dutifully follow me around the house making sure that my klutzy butt doesn't fall and injure myself. In fact, they are so good at being my bodyguards, often time they don't even move too far away (and I wind up tripping over them). Now that's dedication!

I digress...

Now that I have kids, all privacy is out the door from the moment I walk through the door. Anywhere I go, I'm stalked by tiny beady eyes following my every move.

Trips to the bathroom are accompanied by both kids and dogs. I call them my "Potty Posse". I'm unable to perform a single act of tinkle without the glaring eyes of three dogs and two children asking questions such as "what's that?" and "is that your peepee?"

Closing the door is out of the question. Usually if I even make it to the bathroom on time (thanks bladder control!) the door is out of the question. Everyone (including the little braciocephalic dogs who have no noses) know how to push the door open.

I've made peace that becoming a mom means becoming a celebrity in my household. Hollywood stars have nothing on me!

Another dinner saga...

Yesterday Me: what do you want for dinner? Eleanor: burga frea fry ABC: mac n cheese Me: no burgers and I'm out of mac n cheese ABC: I need a cold dinner Eleanor: burga frea fryyyyyy ABC: how about ice cream? Eleanor: FREA FRYYYYYYYYYY ABC: green ice cream. Dinner must be cold Me: How about green ice cream after you eat dinner? ABC: sounds like a good plan Me: so what do you want? Eleanor: BURRRRGAAAAHHHH FREA FRYYYYYYYYYYYYY ABC: hey! I know! How about hamburgers and french fries Eleanor: FREA FRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Me: How about hot dogs? ABC: OK, with green ice cream!

An interesting vacation

Vacationing as a parent is full of ups and downs.

Up: Excited child seeing Thomas the Train...
Down: 8 hr car ride to get to Thomas the Train

Up: Train Ride on the actual Thomas the Train
Down: 8 hr car ride to ride a 23 minute train? Are you freakin' kidding me?

Up: Seeing a fire engine up close and personal
Down: Having to call the fire department to examine child after choking on a pretzel

Up: Happy Children
Down: Tons of scrapped knees from dare devil stunts

Up: Garlic Festival
Down: Idiot at Garlic Festival
Up: Knowing G-ma's got my back

Up: Going home after a long weekend
Down: traffic coming home coming to a dead stop

All in all it was a memorable trip that my son is still talking about. Money well spent.

The secret to a happy marriage...

I had to laugh today when I read the article saying that the secret to a happy marriage is sleep (for women).

http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2009/06/22/they-say-good-marriage-good-sleep-for-women/

Obviously, moms don't get sleep, esp. moms of small kids like me. I think the nurse cursed me after I had Alexander, and she insisted that I take a nap before holding my son. "It'll be the best nap you'll ever have..." And, sadly, she was right.

Boom Boom Boom...

I'm cleaning the house (shocking, I know), and I have the TV set to one of those radio hit's stations. A Black Eyed Peas song comes on the radio "Boom Boom Pow". Both kids completely STOP mid-play as in some sort of trance. They turn to the TV.

The girl starts to shake her little tushie frantically to the rhythm. She's captivated. She waves her hands in the air. A natural dancer.

The boy starts to sing Boom Boom Boom to the tune. He doesn't know the words, but he hears the rhythm.

Hmm...

So I load it up on YouTube. Both kids frantically clap and sing "boom boom boom". They want me to play it again, and again, and again, and...

After 6 times straight, I had enough and put the computer away.

Later that evening, the boy starts singing in his sleep "boom boom boom".

I'm thinking there's some sort of subliminal message there.

The Mom and the Bonkey

Alexander has been calling me "mom" rather than "mama" and Brent "dad" instead of "daddy"

Our convo last night:

ABC: you're mom
Me: not mama?
ABC: no, you're mom now
Me: OK, what's daddy?
ABC: he's not daddy, he's dad
Me: OK, then who are you?
ABC: Bonkey
Me: You're not Alexander, you're Bonkey?
ABC: Yes, I'm Bonkey
Me: OK, Bonkey, who's Eleanor?
ABC: Badungadunga
Me: Badungadunga?

*It was so hard not to laugh.

Later that evening. I said "Bonkey come here" and he said "I not Bonkey anymore, and you not Mom, you're Mommy"
ME: then who are you
ABC: I your Alexander again.

Mother's Day

So, for Mother's Day, my family got me a very pretty sundress outfit.

As I was taking it off for the evening, Alexander looks at me and says "mommy, you're taking your dress off?"

"Yes, I am. Going to change into jammies".

"You're not a princess anymore?"

"No, I guess not" (laughing!)

Daddy chimes in with what he thinks is the perfect answer "Mommy's always a princess..."

"Oh, Princess Mommy, I need a hug".

*Sweet moments, I'll take them!

Avocados

On his plate, there's cheesy meatloaf, avocado slices, and corn on the cob.

With a sigh and a prayer, I hand him his plate.

He eats everything BUT the avocado. I wonder if he's related to his dad at all (as that's his dad's treat!)

I ask "why won't you eat your avocado?"

"Because it's green"

(((cue drum roll)))

A small victory

"I don't want dinner"

"But, you have to eat"

"No, I don't want to"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want dinner!"

"How about lunch?"

"Yeah, lunch"

"OK, we'll have lunch"

Husband comes home..."good job, little guy, you eating dinner?"

"Nope, lunch"

Mom wins this round!

Mommy, go away!

My son has learned something new. He's learned about privacy.

Apparently, when he does a poop, he doesn't want anyone around, and absolutely cannot phathom why we have to bother him.

Knowing when he's 1.) quiet, 2.) out of sight, and 3.) not bugging me with his endless questions of "why", I deduce he's pooped his pants.

So, I go searching. He's in the other room. Happily playing in his play kitchen.

"Alexander" I lovingly call, "do you have a poop?"

"No, mama, you go away, you watch t.v. and leave me alone, okay? I busy, okay? Leave me alone" and then shuts the door.

And, suddenly, I find myself having visions of what his teenage years will be like when he discovers girls and crunchy socks.

The Aww Factor

I got my first hand picked flower from my son today. He was so proud. He came in from the back yard, and handed me this little weedy bud and said "for you mommy, I picked a flower for you because you're so smart".

Aww...

I remember doing this same thing for my mom when I was a little girl. My mom was the smartest and prettiest person in my world (and still is), and every time I offered a dandelion to her, I hope she knew that.

The ritual continues... now I'm nostalgic to find a dandelion for my mom.

Mommy brain...

I had something pretty insightful and enlightening to say, however I forgot what it was.

Mommy brain rules again.

Housebreaking

I'm at work, working, thinking, and working some more. Sometimes, I'll get into auto mode at work and start drifting my thoughts towards my children.

What are they doing now. Are they behaving? Are they laughing and chasing each other? Will they be tired? What will Alexander boycott at dinner time?...you know, the usual.

But something's been on my mind for the last few days.

How the heck to potty train a stubborn child?

I approach this concept with fear, and have read all the books. Be consistent, brave, and keep going.

And, today, a revelation!

It hit me all at once.

If I can housebreak Buffy, my stubborn little pekingese, I can certainly master housebreaking the boy! I used to do dog training. Same principles, right?

Brace yourself, child...you WILL be out of diapers soon!

to be continued...

Queen Daddy

Last nights conversation...it must be shared!

Me: You're a handsome boy
ABC: And you a princess (have no idea where that come from ha ha)
Me: I am? What are you?
ABC: I'm a king
Me: What about Eleanor?
ABC: Un-orr is blue
Me: Blue, huh? What about Daddy?
ABC: Daddy's a girl
Brent: Hey!
Me: Laughing
Brent: who's your queen?
ABC: you, daddy? You a girl and you queen.
Me: ROTFLMAO wiping tears away
Brent: you just gave mommy ammunition. She's going to tell her mommy's this, you know.
ABC: um-hmm queen daddy.

Powered by Toddlers

So, I took my children to The Little Gym. They both had a blast. Including my son, who was the shortest 3 yr old in the room. Small, but mighty!

The minute he gets into the car, he starts asking "why" questions over and over. When we finally get to our destination, his focus on "why" turned into pure glee as he was able to sprint safely across the platform tumbling, jumping, and zooming.

For an hour...non stop!

Meanwhile, his sister stands in the middle of the platform, a little uncertain at first, taking it all in. I don't think she's ever seen her brother in pure chaotic bliss bouncing and bounding like that.

The instructor comes up to her and starts to try and engage her in some activity.

She lets out a warriors cry (think Xena without the chakram and all the backflips) and starts to run rampant.

Baccus would be so proud.

Dinner

Monday-
Me: What do you want to eat?
ABC: pasta
Me: we're having hamburger tonight
ABC: no, I want pasta
Me: how about hamburger
ABC: I want pasta
*we compromise, he eats fruit

Tuesday-
Me: Oh, look, we've got pasta
ABC: I want chicken
Me: But you like pasta
ABC: I also like chicken
Me: you're eating pasta!
*we compromise, he eats fruit

Wednesday-
Me: look! KFC chicken!
ABC: how about chicken?
Me: THAT'S WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE!!!
ABC: oh, hmm...uh, okay, but I don't want KFC I want chicken.
Me: Um, okay, ooh, look, You've got chicken!!!
ABC: and fruit?
Me: (((grunt))) of course.

Does wine count as a fruit?

Work Days

So, my baby turned 3 yesterday. Say what you want, but he's still my baby. I decided to have a much needed mom-son bonding day. I haven't had an hour for just us two since Eleanor was born. It was nice taking him out and having some quality time.

It was almost like he was a different child. Polite, happy, loving, laughing, and really, I was thinking that being home with him all day wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

That is until we brought Little Sister home.

Suddenly, my bright/happy 3 year old started to push, whine, and misbehave. And, in response to this, my 15 mo old decided to smack her brother, whine, and steal everything.

She has a tendency to grab and book it. She'd be a great linebacker. TO eat your heart out!

Anyway, the serenity of the office wins again.

Still, though, it was a good day with my baby boy.

Duplicity

As a mom, I knew I'd have to repeat myself, but not all at once. Suddenly, though, I find myself stuck in a vocal loop with my (almost) 3 year old.

ABC: Look mom, a train!
Me: Is that a train?
ABC: Yeah, a train, a train!
Me: Oh wow! What a train!
ABC: Mommy, look a train!
Me: Is that a train?

(you get the point) This goes on for quite a while until I can either 1.) distract him with food snacks or 2.) another train passes by (which starts up a whole new conversation about you guessed it...TRAINS!)

This mode of conversation has spilled into my adult life, too...

Me: What do you want for dinner?
B: I don't care, what do you want?
Me: I'm asking you what YOU want because I don't care.
B: I don't care, whatever you want is fine...

(this continues until I can distract Brent with food snacks, or until ABC points out trains.)

An interesting conversation...

ABC: Mom, where we going?
Me: To go see grandma.
ABC: No, I want to go to grocery store.
Me: we will after we pick up grandma.
ABC: why we pick up grandma?
Me: Because she doesn't want to drive. She's not feeling well.
ABC: Hmm...grandma have a clean butt?
Me: (laughing) I hope so.

***Don't ask, I have NO idea, LOL

Happy St. Patrick's Day, right?

OK, let me just start by saying I love St. Patrick's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays. I have fond memories of when I was growing up with my family, watching Darby O'Gill and the Little People, eating corned beef & cabbage, and drinking the green milk.

Really, it was a fun FUN holiday.

Flash forward to today.

You want to know what's NOT fun about the holiday? Green Poop!

Apparently, the kids ate something green. Alexander informs me that he pooped. Holy blow out, batman! I scrub and I scrub, I notice that the green poop stained his legs and won't come off. Kirkland Brand wipes ain't got nothin' on a St. Patty's fanny!

I've earned my Guinness!

Things I never knew before I was a mom (part 1)

A hamburger can be bloken (broken). It's true. Alexander told me he couldn't eat his hamburger because it was bloken and I had to fix it.

So I assembled the buns, meat, pickles, etc. back in order.

He takes a bite. Shakes his head.

Maaaamaaa It's BLOK-EN!

I arrange the burger again.

(((repeat until burger is gone, or I wind up finishing the broken burger to prove it wasn't, in fact, bloken after all)))

Gotta love kids!

Fasten your seatbelts...

It's going to be a bumpy ride! Eleanor is, well, let me just say "spirited". She's only 1, but she causes havoc where ever she goes. She will NOT be ignored.

We've been trying to "sleep train" her for the last 6 nights. I love how the "experts" roll it out that if you follow their plan and do exactly what they say, within 7 days, you'll have a child who is complacent and sleeping through the night.

And then there's Eleanor...

Last night was worse than the first night. I've read, re-read, and can totally memorize the sleep training manuals. Heck, I could give a seminar on the subject. That is, if I could actually function. Because in order to talk a comprehensive sentence, that would require brain-mouth connectivity. And, right now that doesn't happen without loads of caffeine. I digress...

The old adage: Youth is wasted on the young has never been truer until I met this child. How can someone so tiny run on so little sleep?

If you had told me years ago that I would actually be longing for sleep, I'd have scoffed. Sleep was overrated! Now, I'm so desperate I'm ready to go to KFC and make a sacrifice to the sleep deities.

Bonding

I often reflect "I did this to myself". In some ways it helps to put things back in perspective. I thought it was a good idea to have two small children close together. Easier for me and they will bond better, right?

Eleanor is so young, but has already mastered the art of ornery. She likes to taunt her brother every chance she gets. She'll turn the tv on/off. Over and over again. Tell her no, she'll just look at you, smile sweetly, turn it off, and walk herself into her time out chair.

Alexander whines over everything. And, by everything, I really mean everything! Today, it was because her sister "dared" touch his grapes. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA she touched my GWAPES!" And then puts her in time out.

To which Eleanor will sit, pop her but up, and sit again, and pop up, and sit again. And, this frustrates Alexander "MOOOOMMMAAA Un-Ore won't sit in time out!"

He pushes her down, she bites him...they brawl, and I separate them.

Bonding at it's finest!

Negotiations

Regular morning:

Mommy, no go work please

Sorry kiddo, Mommy has to

No, mommy, you stay here. Daddy go work.

Yeah, daddy goes to work, and mommy has to go to work.

No, mommy, daddy goes work, Un-ore goes work, you stay here.

Sorry, kiddo, mommy's gotta go to work.

Hmm...mommy, you stay here with me, okay?

No can do.

Mommy, no go work. You stay here with me, kay? Daddy go work, you see.

How about you watch a train video?

How about you stay here?

How about you eat breakfast?

How about you eat breakfast with me here?

How about you eat breakfast with daddy?

How about daddy go work and Un-ore go work, and you eat breakfast with me, okay?

How about I sneak out the door while you cry leaving us both sad for the moment?

My son is going to be a great lawyer. Yes, I realize that 7:30 AM is too early to want a glass of wine. (((sigh))) Where's my coffee?

The dentist

Apologetically, he shot me up with novacaine (after the courtesy numbing agent). I have a high tolerance for pain. I mean, I was in labor for 15 1/2 hours with an epidural that didn't work before two c-sections. I'm okay with a little novacaine.

And, as I'm sitting there, getting dental work done, it dawns on me that this is a quiet moment. OK, there was some drilling, but you get the point...actual quiet down time for me. No work. No crazy demanding kids hanging off of me. I didn't know what to do (other than sit back gaping like a gold fish as I was getting a filling).

I think I relaxed a little too much, as I was drifting off into sleep.

Sleep, that thing I used to do so well. That thing that I took for granted a little more than two years ago. I snored a bit. I get a jolt awake.

"We're done!"

"Are you sure? You don't want to do anything more? Don't I need a root canal or a bridge or something? Are you sure you don't want to implant a replacement wisdom tooth I had removed long ago?"

"Nope, all done"

(((sigh)))

Hurricane Eleanor

OK, so I've had the house clean. Spotless. Seriously, for me, I was proud.

That is, until Hurricane Eleanor blew threw. In less than 5 minutes (while I was putting laundry away) she managed to mess up the living room completely.

Oddly, I'm proud. She beat her daddy's record!

Seriously?

Why is it whenever you seem to be on the phone, with an important call they decide to demand your attention?

Last night: The kids are happily amused both watching Ni-Hao Kai-lan and by playing Thomas games on the computer.

I sneak away. It's an important call. The kids are amused. I might get away with it. I feel like a zebra, trying to get water from a local watering hole.

Suddenly, like little lions, they realize that mom isn't devoting 100% attention to their every breath. They start to cry, whine, push, bite, shove. Their cries are that of a predator pouncing on their prey.

I end the call, apologetically, to the person on the other end. The little angels resume playing, smug in their conquest. They've eaten the zebra and their bellies are full.

Grandma calls to chit chat. Silence in the other room. The call isn't important enough. Really...really?

Crank monsters

She's up all night nursing and flailing around. We're both tired and cranky.

Suddenly, a familiar children's song plays. She starts to dance, and flashes a smile to me.

All that crankiness melts away.

She's already got me wrapped around her little finger!

Eleanor wins again.

Nap time

After struggling with them to sleep, I achieved the miraculous...they are BOTH napping!

I don't know what to do with myself now.

I'm afraid to move to disrupt the silence.

I contemplate finishing one of the numerous books I've started (hey, I'm an optimist!) Although, I'm sure the quiet flipping of the pages is sure to wake one of them up...

We survived the epidemic

Ah, the joys of having multiple children. They share every little germy cold. We survived RSV in the house hold.

There are two things that I have never truly experienced until I became a mom: fear and helplessness.

Fear comes with the territory. Helplessness is not a feeling that I'm used to. I'm such a control freak, that when faced with something that I can't prevent or cure easily, well...I'm sufficiently humbled.

On a bright side, the kids are back to being reasonably healthy. Alexander came up to me with arms extended wide, and with the most amazing smile and said "I love you, Mommy" totally unprompted. Eleanor approved with a drooley smile and said "blub".

And all is right in Treyland again.

And so it begins...

My kids have learned the power of the remote. It ranks over the cell phone in the house. Alexander likes to flip through the channels while Eleanor masterfully switches it to QVC. She's barely a year old, and she's mastered the art of shopping!

There are days when I stare at my kids in awe and wonder of how I could've created such beautiful creatures, full of wonder and laughter.

And, then there are days like today where I remind myself that I did this to myself. I chose to have two children so close together.

Eleanor (the chow hound) loves to eat whatever is on her brother's plate. She spills over his food, shattering corn everywhere!

It's times like this, I'm grateful for dogs.

Alexander cries as he sees his food on the floor. I contemplate the 5 second rule as it applies to toddlers.

Better not. This time...