The bagel

I decided to be brave, and embark on an impromptu, but much needed shopping trip to the grocery store. Normally, I'd strategically place Thing 2 (my youngest) in the cart while Thing 1 wanders around within decent range. He's under better voice control than Thing 2. And, he responds better to operant conditioning than Thing 2.

On this day, however, Thing 1 was unusually tired, a side effect from the IDON'TWANNANAP syndrome. Thing 2 was a bigger ball of energy after power napping for 2 hours. So, I decided to foolishly try it...

Thing 2 went wild running amok here and there, touching everything, until I was finally able to chase her down near the bakery. I'm amazed at her quick speed and versatility as she was able to maneuver the displays and aisles quicker than I could. The shopping cart with Thing 1 weighed me down, regardless, she could have given Marion Jones a run for her money. She was immediately lured to the bagel display where fresh bagels tempt shoppers daily in a very child accessible case. She was happily touching each and every accessible bagel, despite my hopeless pleas and begging "Come Back".

Fulfilling my obligation to buy what my child has touched, I came home with 5 bagels. My husband's response: "Why couldn't she have touched the blueberry?"

Skinny Jeans and Lipedema

Skinny Jeans. Hate them. Loathe them. With every fiber of my being, I cannot wait for this fashion to be out. It's hard enough for a person with lipedema to find a decent fitting pair of jeans. But now Skinny Jeans play into fashion.

Not only does Skinny Jeans make people look awful while promoting the ideal that thinner is better, but it also makes it extremely difficult to find jeans that fit properly when you have larger than life column legs.

I know, I know, society is never going to bend to my command. If that was the case, I'd be able to afford a $80K house in my parents neighborhood...digressing.

Before these devil jeans came into play, it was easy to shop for jeans (even online). But now, even plus sized jeans have skinnier legs.

My choices now are to either buy mens pants or wear dresses. And, by wearing dresses, I will be showing off my column legs, which is not something I want to do. Wearing mens jeans aren't ideal either as now I have jeans that fit my legs, but I also have a huge bulge in front which makes me look awkward.

I can't win. And, I can't wait for parachute pants to come back into style. MC Hammer, we need you!

It Ain't Pretty...

I think I'm a little insulted. I saw a Tampax commercial marketing a tampon as the cuter tampon.

Excuse me? A cuter tampon? First of all, I don't really care what the frack the thing looks like. If anything, I don't sit and stare at it at any point of my interaction with the thing. I don't care if its yellow, orange, or white. I certainly hope the damn thing doesn't sparkle. Inspire me with a wrapper? Sure, but tell me it's cute and I feel like feminism took a big slap in the cheeks. Next you'll be telling me that it's comes beaded or with sequins so I can accessorize it with my shoes.

I don't want a "cute" tampon. Marketing Fail.

Rule of Mommy Hood #188

Kids are sticky. Kids will find anything sticky. Even when there's no obvious cause for sticky-ness, kids are sticky!

Vacationing with Children

We went on our first family vacation. I say the term tongue in cheek, as I don't see it as our first vacation, but my husband does. First as in no one else but him, me, and the two kids.

I don't know how my parents vacationed with my brother and I in the car for long periods of time and NOT have something to amuse us (like the blessed dual DVD players we invested in a while ago). Of course, how I remember it, my dad drove like a madman trying to get from point A to point B in record time, while we sat quietly in the back seats like little heaven sent angels. I'm sure my parents remember that experience differently. Digressing...

We went to Six Flags/Discovery Kingdom. 10 hours at a park - no naptime. You can imagine that the kids passed out once we hit the car. My daughter has a new passion for giraffes. My son got a kick out of feeding sea lions a few fish.

It was a fun trip. Of course it included Thomas the Train.

The kids loved the hotel. Just the idea of the hotel room sent the kids in a spin. I need to find a way to market the energy of youth. I want to be powered by toddlers.

We got home in record time, compliments of my husband's driving. It reminds me of my dad's driving. I'm sure with enough Diet Red Bull, he may be able to keep up with my dad driving from CA to MO in 2 days. Nah, dad's legendary...

Who doesn't like a good axe kicking?

My son was very cute in TaeKwonDo yesterday. His instructor was telling him to do front kick, front kick, axe kick.

So my son says the kick as he's doing them 'front kick, front kick, ass kick'. I had to laugh, did the instructor really think a four year old is going to say axe?

Later that evening, my husband asks my son how he did at Taekwondo and my son replies "I like ass kicking, it's my favorite"

My little feminist male child

"We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters." ~Gloria Steineem

Wow, what a powerful statement.

My son has moved on from his dance classes into Taekwondo. He's the only one in his class that actually hugs the other kids. I noticed this with the kids of his own age, but didn't think twice about it until recently. He went to hug a (much older) kid, and the boy looked at me awkwardly. I told the boy "he likes to hug" and the boy just shrugged his shoulders, and I asked my son to give him some space (appropriately b/c the same boy was practicing his kicks and bopped him in the head).

I also realized that my child is the only child who runs to me (his parent) and gives warm hugs and kisses to after each lesson.

I am so proud. I've raised a hugger.

Happily, I've had some time to spend with my son one on one. I've learned some of his favorite things are to help me cook in the kitchen (cheddar popcorn is his specialty), going on the deck to look through his telescope, and to trace letters in either is Care Bears or Spiderman Activity books. He will help me clean his room and do laundry without batting an eye.

He will hug and tell amazing stories, and is quick to comfort his little sister (and other kids) when they are sad. I watch him play with both the girls and the boys in the class without bias. He likes when I include him in painting his nails blue (when I paint his sister and my nails blue).

Yesterday, I took the kids shopping. His over-stimulated little sister was having a fit because she wanted cookies on the shelf. He went and got them for her (so naturally) and said "there, now you don't have to cry".

I feel that I'm raising a strong and caring boy. He's going to be an amazing dad. So far, he's not polluted by the stigma that he can only be a boy, and that girls are icky or 2nd class.

I'm proud of the little feminist male I'm raising.