Funny things heard around the house that make you go hmm...

Thing 1 approaches my husband and I about 2 hours before bedtime to complain about his sister's toy: Can you tell her to turn it off? I need my beauty sleep.

Um, okay...?

Whining Wednesday

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Being married takes a lot of work. I admire the people like my parents who make it look easy. I've read something that a long marriage is two people dancing a tango while doing solos. That is so true. There's a lot of compromise and a lot of giving.

With my spouse, I love him and cannot imagine my life without him. Though, there are times, naturally, when I think life would be so much easier. Things in the house would stay where they remain, I wouldn't be disappointed when I came home to yet another mess I didn't create, and I wouldn't have to rely on anyone creating more work for me.

Wednesdays are his nights to play with the guys while I take care of the household. I'm glad he gets to go out and blow off some steam, and in return I ask for a little help. I get disappointed in myself for feeling this way, because he does work hard, like I do. And, I genuinely want the best for him, but I just wish for once, he'd understand, that sometimes, all I really need in life is to walk home and see the good things he does, not see his faults.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken

Don't ban skippy...

To parents whose kids have extreme food allergies, I my heart goes out to you. You have a very difficult task in keeping your kids safe and healthy. However, you go too far when you suggest the world bend to your individual needs. Take for example Lisa Conquet http://www.babble.com/best-recipes/healthy-eating/raising-child-peanut-allergy-risks-food-intolerance/ No doubt do I feel bad for the hoops you and your family jump through. But to suggest that the world stop eating peanuts in public places just to accommodate your need, is a bit extreme. Sadly, you are not alone. The anti-peanut sentiment is on the rise for the small majority of parents whose kids have extreme allergies.

What about parents whose kids are allergic to gluten, and cannot be around any wheat? Should we banish all bread and wheat items? Kids with milk allergies? Soy? Products made with eggs? What about the parents of the kids allergic to bees? Should we ban all bees? Don't even get me started on pets...

There's never going to be a safe environment. And, like a left handed person living in a right handed world will tell you, you have to be adaptable, because the world will not stop for you.

Registering for a good school

I've got school anxiety. For my kids. We've decided to switch Thing 1 and Thing 2 to a different private school so that they can go to this elusive kindergarten. The politics behind a good education is crazy. You have to promise to do everything short of giving your organs. I'm glad we checked into it early, otherwise we'd have never made the donor, er, I mean waiting list.

The amount of research spent on educational points, grades for schools, and teacher to child ratio, I could be doing something more enriching such as learning a new language, taking up knitting, or following up on my fantasy football team.

In the long run, I hope that we're making the right choices now. Parenting is harder than it looks!

Lessons

As parents, we should practice what we preach. I've learned that lesson yesterday when dressing my son for TaeKwonDo, he asked to wear his belt and complete uniform. He was practically insisting that today was Uniform Day.

It was hot, and it's still summery outside, so thinking in the best his best interest (and to avoid an impeding heat rash) that it would be best to continue the tradition of tshirt and TKD pants.

Again, my son pleads with me that today is Uniform Day and that he needs his complete uniform. Again, I refused. We went a few rounds of this until I pulled the shiny trick (distracting him with something else) and we were on our merry way.

Only to discover everyone else was wearing uniforms. My son immediately looks at me and says "see, I told you!"

The instructor mentions it to him, and Thing 1 starts to pout a bit. I step up and say "I take responsibility for that. He told me and I didn't believe him".

My son looks up, gives me a grateful smile for admitting I was wrong and he was right. In that moment of redemption, I saw a little spark of pride in him that I stood up for him and he was right (for a change).

The instructor gives a little laugh, says it's okay...and class continues. No harm. But, there were lessons here. For him, he learned his mom can make mistakes, but I can admit to them.

Lessons learned for me: I need to take more time to listen to my children. I'm not always right.

Humble pie? I'll take a slice.

I confess...

I confess that have a chocolate chip cookie obsession. But, I didn't feel like baking, so I purposely tricked my husband into making chocolate chip cookies as a "solo bonding activity to do with the kids." The kids played perfectly into my master plan of squealing with delight "yay, cookies with daddy!!!" whilst running around in a craze. I confess that I forgot to tell my husband to cut the recipe in half otherwise we'd be overflowing with cookies.

I confess that as he's reading them a story (another suggested bonding exercise), I'm enjoying one of the too many cookies with my glass of wine...

Too Much Information

For those who are squimish, stop reading here. No seriously, you've been warned.

Being a mom means learning about poo. From Day 1, you're responsible for someone else's bowel movements. You learn about the cute little odorless poop that newborns have. You know the tarry stuff that you can't get off even with a Magic Eraser? To the stinky poo that comes with feeding your kids solids. Poo is just a way of life for a new mom. Then comes changing diapers. With cloth, you learn about inserts, sprayers, pre-treatments, sun cleaning (which is a crock of lies, I tell ya!), and endless amounts of laundry. With disposables, you learn about the way to wipe, fold properly, how many bags you need to carry, blow outs, which diapers rim the cheeks better, etc.

Then potty training. You're relieved because you think I'LL NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE ANOTHER DIAPER AGAIN. But, there's still the small potties, the butt wiping, and the techniques. It becomes more complicated and more involved than I think it really needs to be.

You learn more about poo than you really ever wanted. Potty training is the rite of passage every parent needs to go through, to truly know your kid is evolving.

Kids get curious and stick their fingers in poo, and finger paint the walls (Magic Eraser does get rid of it on the walls, for what it's worth). Kids get curious and watch themselves poop. They happy proclaim I have to poo, I smell like poo, you smell like poo, I don't like poo, my poo looked like a donut, etc. to every stranger they meet.

Kids are just as fascinated by poo, as they are with everything else in the world.

Thing 1 is a big time fruit eater. He's small, but has some of the most powerful poops. When I dump the potty, I am actually amazed that such a magnificent structure can come from such a tiny body.

Thing 2 isn't as passionate in fiber as her brother. Her poops usually range on the smaller, delicate spectrum. You can definitely tell which is which. She likes to point out shapes in her poo and is most proud when she can achieve the letter "r".

My kids are synchronized poopers. Always have been. I have invested in two potties for that reason. They go together, sometimes holding hands singing songs. About poo.

I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about poo. Sometimes I think you learn too much.